Healing Your Relationship With Money

Oct 16, 2024

In this post, I will discuss transitioning your mindset from one of lack and scarcity to one of abundance and opportunities. This is crucial because our mindset shapes our actions and destiny.

Ask yourself this question:

I dare say that you’ll likely find your beliefs around money and financial situation to be very similar to those of your parents, those who raised you, and your friends and the people you spend most of your time with.

So, there are things to think about and I can assure you that it is a real thing.

Start Talking About Money

This is a taboo topic and most people are afraid to talk about it. More often than not, they won’t admit if they’re experiencing financial issues.

The truth is, nobody taught us this skill.

You need to start discussing your struggles with your closest friends or loved ones. The goal is to see if you can learn something about finances together during these conversations.

You need to make open dialogues about your failures and successes a habit. As I’ve already discussed in a previous article, even a simple talk can open the door to insightful ideas.

Realise That Money Itself is Meaningless

We all dream of big houses, nice cars, a yacht on the beach…but the reality is that most of us don’t have these things. And to acquire all these, we need money. Therefore, one might think it’s money’s fault if we don’t have them.

Let me give you a simple example.

If you have a bunch of bricks, how you arrange them and what you build with them depends entirely on you. Bricks are neither inherently bad nor good. It’s your responsibility to arrange them, and the result depends on you.

A similar situation applies to money. It’s just a tool, and it’s neither good nor bad. However, many people believe that if they don’t have money, it’s money’s fault. Sometimes, we may even despise it, insisting that it shouldn’t exist, and so on.

We might even believe that those who have plenty of it are bad people. In my home country, when I was a child, people used to think that if someone was running a business or two, that was a sign they were doing something wrong. They were seen as bad people, and money was considered dirty in general. That’s a “wonderful” gift given to people’s mindset by socialism…something some people are still struggling with.

But now, upon further reflection, this phenomenon is not confined just to post-Soviet countries. All around the world, there are people who perceive wealthy individuals as bad, doing illegal or even horrible things.

All that said, my point is that you should start looking at money as a tool used by the whole world. And, as with any tool, you have to learn how it works. This includes educating yourself because those who understand how it works, are actually those who may become wealthy.

Give Money Away

The abundance mindset includes the ability to give some money away. At the end of the day, you earn money to purchase things that bring you joy. Here, I’m not talking about spending all of your money, but rather giving a small portion to things that make you happy, give your life meaning, or provide you with a sense of purpose.

That could mean paying your mom’s and dad’s bills to take care of them. It could also mean visiting a nice cafe every Saturday and savouring a cup of tea or coffee there. Sure, you can have coffee at home, but sitting somewhere pleasant and treating yourself brings a sense of gratification. This gratification sends a signal to your brain that the efforts you’ve made were not in vain, and you will be more willing to put in effort again.

Be Mindful With Your Money

As I mentioned earlier, money is just a tool and for good or bad it is THE TOOL the whole world uses and you have to understand it and learn how to manage it. Being mindful in this case means to build your own portfolio, learn how to manage your wealth – to build it, preserve it and how to pass it ahead to your children.

Speaking of which…a spoiler, I am working on a tiny book about wealth management that I am going to publish soon. I will let you know when it is available on the market.

Design Your Environment

Your environment is everything. It can fundamentally change the way you perceive the world. Let’s take an example. How do you feel when you enter a room filled with beautiful items? Or the opposite – if you step into a room filled with unattractive things, I’d wager you don’t feel very good.

So, here is my suggestion. If you don’t like your clothes – throw them. If you’re unhappy with where you live – find a way to relocate. If you’re uncomfortable with the people around you – move on.

Design your home to be beautiful, dress yourself well and with style, consume good food.

For some, these points might seem obvious; however, I can assure you that there are people unaware of the profound impact these small changes can make on their lives.

Be Grateful

Your brain is a powerful tool that will give you more of what you are focused on.

Most humans are negatively wired and their brains seek negative things that happened in their life. As a consequence, they will get more of it.

Look at your friends. How many of them think that life is a great thing, and they are truly enjoying life? Most probably most of them are either neutral or negative.

By being aware of what good things you have in your life you are actually going to wire your brain to start seeking more of it and also – very importantly – to find ways to recognise opportunities and ways to get it.

Here are a few examples of things to be grateful for:

• I am breathing
• I am in good health
• I can walk
• I have a wonderful and supportive wife – or husband
• I am grateful that I have free time that I can invest in working on my business because I have the opportunity to earn money and provide for myself and my family

The ultimate goal is to shift yourself to a state where your brain perceives the beauty of live and it is willing to find more for the two of you.